


Cavity

by Felinis



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: AU, Crack, Dentistry, Dick Jokes, Fluff and Crack, Fluri, Gen, If You Squint - Freeform, lireral tooth-rotting fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 05:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13451193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felinis/pseuds/Felinis
Summary: In which Yuri needs a trip to the dentist





	Cavity

**Author's Note:**

> Felinis: You ever find a random unpublished oneshot on your computer that you vaguely remember writing during either your 3rd or 4th year of high school. So yeah that's what this is. If I remember my art teacher dared me to right a technically pg oneshot that was full of nothing but dick jokes.

_Slurp. Slurp. Slurp._

Flynn felt the quill in his hand snap again. He sighed for what the twelfth; maybe fortieth time that day. Why did he let Yuri into his office? Why did he let Yuri ask for sweets from the palace? Why did he leave the window open for Yuri to climb through? Why was he even friends with Yuri?

Flynn glanced at Yuri who was currently balancing a cherry on top of his nose and trying to grab it with his tongue. Oh yeah, that's why. His job was so boring. Yes, he loved his job as commandant. Yes, he loved all the wonderful things he'd been able to do for the people. But, oh my goddess, if he had to look at another document on the rising price of meats or hear that _slurp_ he would burn this city to the ground.

"Yuri, this just a simple request between friends. A small suggestion really." Flynn shuffled his papers together and put them off to the side before looking his friend in the eyes. "But, would you stop smacking your lips on that milkshake!"

Yuri took another long sip from his milkshake and rolled his eyes. "Flynn you are way too tense. You need a vacation and I need another piece of cake." He reached from across the bed to a tray piled with cookies, cakes, and tarts and picked up the nearest slice. "What's the big deal anyway? I'm just eating."

Flynn grimaced as Yuri took a bite of what might have been his third piece of cake in the course of the past two hours. How could anyone eat that many sweets and not feel like vomiting? "My problem is how you're eating." Yuri had never been one for manners. Or decency. Or hell, even bothering to ask before ordering a mountain of dessert.

_Slurp._

Flynn gave his friend a long hard look and wondered if this was all some kind of sick cosmic joke. Yuri began smacking his lips together as he took another bite out of his cake. Yep, definitely a joke. Hopefully, a joke.

_Smack. Smack._

Flynn let out another sigh and dug through his desk for another quill. After several minutes of searching, he finally resumed his reading over a recent report from Aurion on request for more troops due to an increase in monsters and a recent discovery of a particularly interesting strand of mushrooms that had appeared in the town(though as to why one would bother adding this to the report he wasn't sure).

_Slurp. Smack. Lick._

Only about forty more years till retirement and then Flynn could experience this joy on a daily basis rather than bimonthly. That is if his friend wasn't strangled to death. Flynn chanced a look back at Yuri currently on a quest to lick all the vanilla icing from a very delicious cupcake.

_Liiiiiiicccccckkkkkk._

Focus. Just focus.

_Lick. Smack. Lick. Smack. Lick. Smack. Lick. Lick. Lick. Li-OWWWWW!_

Yuri suddenly dropped his cupcake smearing the last of the icing over himself and Flynn's recently washed linens. Flynn muttered a few curses at the white stain before looking to the source of everything wrong with his life at the moment. Yuri rubbed the left side of his cheek sourly as he tried for another bite of his cupcake only to meet with the exact same result. It was a tragedy for guildsman and the bed sheets. "What the hell?" Yuri shouted after the third painful attempt to eat one of his delicious goodies.

Flynn walked over and sat himself on the bed beside his friend "Open up."

"What?"

Flynn rolled his eyes. "Open your mouth so I can look inside." Yuri gave a quizzical look and opened wide. Flynn's finger gently prodded at a back molar eliciting a small whimper from his friend. "Well, looks like you have a cavity. Figures."

"Get your fingers out of my mouth!" Yuri spat as Flynn poked the molar once more for good measure. "So a cavity? I'll just put a pineapple gel on it." Sometimes Flynn wondered how Yuri had managed to last as long as he had without him there.

"That is not how cavities work! You can't just throw a gel on it and say it's better! You have to go to the dentist and get a filling for your tooth." Flynn said.

"Are you sure I can't? Gels can be used for pretty much anything if they're strong enough. I mean, just this last week Judy used some as foot cream and it worked great."

"You can't throw a gel on a cavity! Gels are made of syrup! That's why you have to go to the dentist."

Yuri pouted a bit and took another bite of his cookie and bared through the pain. Yeah, he could deal with this. "Nah, I don't think so. I'm not for strangers putting drills in my mouth."

"So you're going to forgo basic dental hygiene just so you can eat some cake?"

"Pretty much." Yuri shrugged.

"Unbelievable." Flynn threw his hands up with a flourish, storming the room in a circle. "This is you leaving wet towels on the floor all over again!" Yuri rolled his eyes as he continued to ignore the raving blonde and instead focusing on a cream filled donut. "You are so irresponsible! After everything you've done in the past year I would hope you'd have enough common sense now to actually visit the dentist!" Yuri licked some cream off the side of his face. "You're not even listening to me!"

"Nope."

"Fine! Suffer in tooth-based squalor."

"Says the commandant from the slums."

Flynn could wait for the suffering to eat at his friend before claiming he was right. It be like with the wet towels only this time more pleasant and likely less violent. Flynn waited a week and while Yuri was definitely in pain he was still stubbornly refusing. Which meant more pastry crumbs on his bed and icing stains on his sheets. There were two options Flynn could use to get things under his control brute force or bribery. He went with bribery since the bed had already suffered enough. Oh to sleep once more unsoiled sheets. "Yuri if you go to the dentist with me I'll take you to that really nice pastry shop you like."

Yuri raised a brow, yes this was underhanded trickery, but it was delicious trickery and that's why he lets Flynn get away with it. "Go on. I'm listening."

"We can go in and buy all the cakes you want." Yuri kept silent; this was the hard part. He had to wait for Flynn to cave and up the ante. "Of course I'll buy you some cannolis and a few crepes." Good, but still it wasn't nearly enough to satisfy Yuri's desires. "And if you want we can get some candy. Chocolate bars, lollipops, lemon drops, anything you want." Yuri licked his lips anxiously, but it still wasn't enough. Flynn had to hold back a laugh at the begging look in Yuri's eyes. "Oh, and how could I forget about dessert for dinner. We'll have all your favorites!"

"Deal!" Yuri leaped from the bed ready to get this over with so he could devour every strawberry custard cream cake south of the Noble Quarter. "Promise me there will not be any carrot cake this time."

"What's wrong with carrot cake?" Flynn said as he leaned back in his chair.

"Everything is wrong with carrot cake! Gross root vegetables should not be allowed in sweet spongy cake." Yuri spat. "The only thing I want in my pastries is fruit. Carrots belong with rabbits and vegetarian-freaks."

"I like carrots," Flynn muttered.

"Then you're a freak."

The two headed off towards a local dentist a few days later that Flynn had heard about; all the while arguing over carrots and other things that apparently did not belong in baked goods. The two had just about arrived and Yuri was still ranting about how pumpkin spice sticky buns were an offense against his very being. "All I'm saying is that pumpkins are disgusting fleshy shells meant for holding slime that taste like something someone vomited. If you want them that's fine just keep them away from me!" Flynn having tuned out of the conversation, for the most part, ignored his friend and politely knocked on the wooden door of the clinic. A stout middle-aged woman with large wire glasses looked at them through a crack in the door.

"What da ya want?" she barked. "We don't take ya kindly 'round here." Prejudice between knights and the Lower Quarter was still strong despite everything Flynn had done. Even having grown up here Flynn was still sometimes treated like an outsider by some residents. Sure he was the grand hero who had saved the world but he was also a knight. It was Yuri's turn to step in.

"Hey, Beaver!"

The woman groaned, "Oh goddess help me" she opened the door a bit more. "That's Beverly ta the likes of ya! I thought I told ya never ta come back here!"

"Aww, but Beaver you don't mean that." Yuri pouted slowly forcing his way in.

"After what ya did ta my poor Muffin!" Beverly desperately tried to block the entrance further to no avail.

Yuri rolled his eyes as he crossed the threshold inside despite protest. "I apologized for what Repede did to your cat," Yuri said as he looked at the cat eyeing him from the window sill. It appeared to be missing the end of its tail and a bit of ear. "What more do I gotta do to make it up to you?"

Beverly adjusted her glasses and glared at him. "Die slowly in a ditch! Ya're nothin but scum."

 _And_ leave it to Yuri to make an enemy out of the dentist in less than five minutes. A "Excuse me, Ms. Beverly, my name is Flynn Scifio. I'm Yuri Lowell's friend," the woman scoffed. "He has a cavity and I was hoping you could take care of it. I promise to cover all the expenses and as a bonus, you can do whatever you want to him as long as his tooth gets fixed."

"Umm, that was not part of the deal!" Yuri tried to pull out of the room but was caught in Flynn's grip.

Beverly snorted. "I like this un he's smart." She gestured for them to follow and held a small flashlight up to Yuri's mouth. "Looks like a lot of decay. I'm gonna need the big drill." She gestured for Yuri to sit on the chair near her workbench and the pointed Flynn to some iron clasps. "Fer when the're squirmy." When Yuri asked if this was going to hurt Beverly cackled madly. "Oh, yes. Might wanna hold somethin."

"I hate you."

"I know."

Beverly held the large drill in her small hands skillfully. "Now, don't move, don't bite, don't swallow, and try an keep screamin to a minimum." Yuri grabbed Flynn's leg in a death-grip his head leaned back while Flynn held the man's hair to make sure he stayed steady. Beverly placed the dental dam in his mouth and went straight into thrusting the drill into his open mouth. The pained yelps and cries over the next forty-five minute began to grow tiresome and soon things were done.

Yuri spat out the remaining contents of his mouth bitterly. "Next time, I'm using a gel."

Of course, Yuri immediately demanded sweets once they left. Flynn would have thought Yuri would be too sore for more but once again the man surprised Flynn. Yuri demanded for only the finest of vanilla ice-cream and Flynn was more than happy to comply.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like maybe support my patron or not. Up to you  
> https://www.patreon.com/felinis  
> Buy me a ko-fi maybe?  
> ko-fi.com/felinisfeloney


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